


Dreams turned into nightmares

by ada3112



Category: Iron Man (Movies), Marvel Cinematic Universe, Spider-Man: Homecoming (2017), The Avengers (Marvel) - All Media Types
Genre: Angst, Avengers: Infinity War Part 1 (Movie) Spoilers, F/M, Father-Son Relationship, Fluff, Hurt Peter Parker, Hurt Tony Stark, Iron dad and Spider son, Other, Pepper Potts Feels, Peter Parker Needs a Hug, Precious Peter Parker, Tony Angst, Tony Stark Acting as Peter Parker's Parental Figure, Tony Stark Has A Heart, Tony Stark Has Issues, Tony Stark Needs a Hug, angst angst, if you can even call it that, i’m just an angsty person i suppose, sorry in advance
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-08-09
Updated: 2018-12-19
Packaged: 2019-06-25 09:10:07
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 2,655
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15637629
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ada3112/pseuds/ada3112
Summary: Just Tony and Peter spending some quality bonding time... kind of.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Hi! This is something that I wrote out of boredom at work one day. If anyone ends up reading or even liking this I might post a second chapter that I have planned. This is my first time posting here so any kind of feedback would be greatly appreciated! Thank you(:

***

 

It had been a long time since Tony Stark had felt as peaceful and content as he did right now. He sat in his lab working on some improvements for his and Peter’s suits accompanied by Peter, whom he had invited into the lab to work with him. 

Peter was a delight to work with. Not only was he incredibly smart and innovative but he was also excited to learn new things from Tony. He would ask countless questions and Tony would answer them all pretending to be annoyed even though he actually loved the attention he received from the excited teen. He would never let Peter know that though.   
Looking over at Peter he couldn’t help but smile fondly at the kid who looked so concentrated on his work.   
He sighed in content. It felt like for the first time in forever he truly had no worries and everything seemed to be fine.   
He’d fixed his relationship with Steve, gotten engaged to Pepper and everything seemed just good. Almost too good. 

He glanced at the clock hanging on the wall and was surprised to realize they’d been in the lab for over 4 hours. 

“Kid.” He walked over to him. 

Peter raised his head and looked at him questioningly. 

“It’s getting quite late. I should probably have Happy drive you home before I get an angry call from your aunt.” He said half jokingly.

“It’s fine Mr.Stark, May’s working late today.” He stood up letting out a tired yawn. 

“Still, I don’t want to be responsible for you falling asleep in class tomorrow. What are you working on anyway?” He asked taking a look at the mess of papers and other random objects on the table next to Peter’s homework. 

“Oh i’m just improving the web fluid formula and coming up with new ideas for the suit, nothing too fancy” Peter said nonchalantly while putting his things back into his backpack.

He always got nervous talking to Tony about anything he worked on which Tony still didn’t understand. 

“Looking good” he replied simply, ruffling Peter’s hair. 

Peter tried to hide his smile. 

“Thank you Mr. Stark” 

“Maybe we can take a look at those ideas together next time”

Peter raised his head in surprise.   
“Really?” 

“Of course, If you want to I mean. You’re a smart kid, beside its your suit” 

“Yes! I mean, I do want to. That would be really cool.” He beamed making Tony chuckle.

Tony would never have believed he’d grow so fond of the kid. Although Peter was such a great kid he thought it must be impossible not to love him. To Tony the most impressive part about him wasn’t the strength and the smartness. It was the size of his heart and his will to do good. How many 15 year olds would anonymously start helping strangers after getting superpowers?   
If Tony ever had kids, he wished they’d be like Peter. Sometimes he almost felt like Peter was his kid. But that’s another thing he’d never admit to anyone. 

“Uh kid listen.” He started hesitantly.

Peter turned to him brown eyes full of curiosity and innocence. 

“I’m not good with being serious and sentimental or whatever” 

He awkwardly put his had on Peter’s shoulder trying to make sense of what he wanted to say. 

“But I wanted to let you know that... I’m proud of you. I know these past months haven’t been that easy for you with the ferry incident and the vulture but you’ve handled it really well.” 

Peter stayed silent listening to what Tony was saying his face unreadable.   
When Peter didn’t say anything Tony continued. 

“And so I want you to know that If you feel like taking a break or something, no one would mind at all. You're so smart and strong, I sometimes forget that you're just a kid. And for a kid your age, you have so much on your shoulders. We're all proud of you Peter, me, your aunt... and I know your uncle would be too." 

Peter was quiet for a while playing with the hems of his sleeves trying to decide what to make of it. 

"Thank you Mr Stark" he then said, his voice barely above a whisper still looking down at his hands. 

Tony shifted awkwardly and squeezed Peter's arm in a way he thought to be supportive and then mentally slapped himself for being so awkward with the teen. 

"Alright, Let's get you home then," he said after seeing Peter unconvincingly hide a yawn in his sleeve. 

Tony pulled out his phone to let Happy know the kid was ready to leave. 

"Mr. Stark?"

"Hmm?" he hummed still looking at his phone. 

pause.

"I don't feel so good"

The phone fell from Tony's hands hitting the floor with a loud thud that neither of the people in the room paid any attention to.   
Tony felt as if someone had just dumped a bucket full of ice cold water on him. His chest tightened and he could feel his heart start hammering wildly against his ribcage, anxiety spreading through him like wildfire. 

"What did you just say?" 

Peter looked at him with his face suddenly full of confusion and fear. He looked in pain which made him look so much younger. Like a child. Tony could see tears gather in his alert eyes as he clumsily stumbled across the room to Tony as if his legs didn’t work properly. Everything was happening so fast. Too fast.

“I- I don’t know- I don’t know what’s happening”

He collapsed into Tony’s arms and grabbed onto him like his life depended on it. Tony was frozen. He he didn’t know what to do, what to say. He just held the kid tightly because for some reason that felt like the most important thing in the world in that moment. 

“I don’t wanna go, I don’t wanna go” Peter’s quivering voice sounded desperate and terrified and he clung to Tony like a child hanging on his life as if Tony was the only thing keeping him there.

“Sir, please I don’t wanna go, I don’t wanna..” 

The room around Tony started spinning. Except that it wasn’t a room. Everything around them was red and blurry. He could smell and taste blood. The air was thick. Thick with dust and smoke. Thick with the remains of the heroes who had just fought there. Suddenly he couldn’t breathe. 

Peter laid on the ground lookin defeated and as he finally stopped struggling he looked deep into Tony’s eyes gathering what seemed to be his last peaces of strength and whispered, 

“I’m sorry”

No no no

He grabbed onto Peter refusing to let go. Fighting with everything in him he tried to keep him there as he felt the boy in his arms vanish. Like trying to grab water with bare hands he kept trying to hold him until there was nothing left to hold. 

No no no

The tightness in his chest got overwhelming making it hard to breathe. His mind was buzzing and suddenly everything was vanishing around him, turning into suffocating dust that filled his lungs. As a last attempt to keep himself grounded he hugged himself trying to feel his body still there, trying to feel something. To his horror he could feel nothing there and as he opened his eyes he could see himself disintegrate into nothingness. Everything around him was loud but yet silent. He could feel nothing, yet he was in pain. The image of Peter’s scared face as he was dying in Tony’s arms kept flashing in his head as he too faded into nothingness. 

He woke up unable to breathe.


	2. The reality

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Pure angst from one sad soul to you all. 
> 
> I'm not really pleased with the writing on this one but felt like posting it anyway.   
> Thank you for the nice comments and kudos for the first chapter. I very much appreciate it(:

"I don't wanna go"

"I'm sorry"

"Sir please, I don't wanna go, I don't wanna-"

Peter

The kid. His kid needed help. He was dying and scared and trusted in Tony to save him. To bring him back. 

He didn't want to go. 

Tony wanted to do something but every time he tried to get his eyes open the image of Peter's scared helpless face would float in front of him causing another wave of panic to rush through him. He was desperate. He just wanted Peter back. 

Peter who had called for him for help and trusted in him to keep him safe. Peter who idolized him and believed he would always figure out a way to fix everything.   
Peter who he had failed. 

"Tony!" 

Everything around him blurred into one until he couldn't make out his surroundings. His chest tightened until he couldn't breathe, and his eyes wouldn't stay open. 

"Tony, please!" 

Maybe he would just let himself go like he had Peter. How would he even be able to live after what happened? 

"Wake up!"

Tony jolted awake. As his vision cleared, he saw a worried Pepper glancing down at him. He sat up quickly throwing his legs over the edge of the bed trying to calm his breaths that were coming out as panicked gasps. He slowly raised his shaking hands in front of him and examined them. Still there. He focused on the hard, cold floor under his feet. The wrinkled bed sheets. The air that was, despite his panicked state, flowing to his lungs. Relief slowly washed over him pushing aside the panic. 

He was home.

He was alive. 

Suddenly Tony flinched back as he felt a soft touch on his shoulder. He turned around to see Pepper standing in front of him clearly unsure of what to say or do. The fear and exhaustion were evident in her features which immediately made Tony feel guilty. He felt the bed tilt slightly as Pepper sat next to him letting out a tired sigh. 

After what felt like hours to Tony, Pepper finally broke the silence.

"Was it-" She cleared her throat "Was it the same one again?" 

Tony just nodded not trusting his voice.

Although this wasn't the first time Pepper was witnessing his nightmares, he still felt the need to appear strong and hide his vulnerability at times.   
It had been two months or so (he certainly wasn't counting) since Titan and Tony still couldn't sleep without nightmares. Still couldn't look at sand or dust without having a panic attack. Still couldn't live normally.   
He often wondered how many lives he'd saved in his last life to deserve someone like Pepper. She was the only thing keeping him grounded and making life just a little bearable. And that's what scared Tony. Because Pepper deserved so much better. She deserved someone who wasn't a complete wreck. Someone who she didn't have to be afraid to be with. Just someone better than Tony. And he dreaded the day Pepper would realise this. 

The said woman wrapped her arms around Tony's neck and rested her head on his shoulder. He could smell the familiar smell of her shampoo which comforted him in an odd way. Neither of them spoke. 

After a while, Pepper was the one to break the silence again. 

"We need to do something about this Tony. You can't go on like this" She hesitated " We can't go on like this" 

"I know"

"It's been months Tony" she continued sadly "Months, and still nothing's getting better. It's like I lost you that day. I barely even see you anymore. You're always in the lab alone and you're so distant."

"I know and I'm sorry- fuck, I'm so sorry Pepper" Tony turned to face her cupping her face in his hands "You shouldn't have to deal with this. But I swear I'll fix it. I'll fix everything like I always do." He didn't know if he was trying to convince Pepper or himself. He supposed both. 

Pepper just looked at him sadly.   
"Tony you can't fix everything by yourself" she whispered staring deep into his eyes as if it would help him understand.

"No, I know Pep, I know. I just need some time. I will fix this I promise. I'll- I'll spend less time in the lab and more with you. I'll even ask Peter to-"

Tony froze

Peter

"I need to call Peter"

"What?"

"I need to call him. I need to make sure he's okay. I just- I have to call him" he stumbled across the room trying to find his phone. 

Pepper turned her back to Tony, hands on her hips and hanging her head as if trying to collect herself. 

Tony fumbled with his phone, fingers hovering over Peter's contact.   
He just needed to make sure his kid was okay. The dream had felt so real.  
Too real. Peter had to be okay.

He was suddenly pulled from his thoughts as he heard a sniffle from behind him. Now very alert and confused he made his way over to his fiancé who was still facing away from him. 

"Hey..." he gently laid his hand on Pepper's shoulder.  
Tony's heart sank when she finally turned to him her eyes red.   
She opened and closed her mouth a few times unable to find the right words. She broke free of the man's hold and took a deep breath. 

Her voice wavered as she spoke quietly " I can't do this anymore, I can't"   
It seemed more like she was talking to herself.

The anxiety in Tony's chest was growing yet again. He slowly made his way to the bed and sat down closing his eyes. 

"What do you mean?"

Pepper wouldn't face him. Tony could see her shoulder's shaking, her silky white nightdress shining in the faint moonlight. 

"What do you mean?" he asked again with more force in his voice. 

He could see his lover taking a deep breath and as she finally turned to him, she looked almost normal as if nothing was wrong. Had it not been for the rapidly falling tears, Tony would have thought he'd just imagined the events from a few minutes ago. 

"Peter is gone, Tony." 

The words were simple yet none of them registered in Tony's mind. 

Pepper sniffled once more and wiped her tears away continuing calmly.   
"Peter died at the Titan. He's dead and has been for months now. You tried your best to save him but there was nothing you could do."

It sounded more like an overly practiced speech than anything else. Just a bunch of meaningless words. Tony felt more like he was dreaming now than he had just moments ago, in his actual dream. He was starting to wish this was a dream too. Just another nightmare he could wake up from. Wake up to the real world where none of this had happened. He had never been on Titan. Peter had never been on Titan. 

Pepper continued to talk but Tony was in a haze. Trapped by his sudden state of confusion unable to react. 

Pepper walked to him taking his hands in her own.   
"You know I love you more than anything Tony." She whispered. The tears had started to fall freely again.   
"But I can't do this anymore. Not right now."  
She exhaled deeply and stared out of the window to the dark starry night sky before continuing.   
"For months now, you've woken up from nightmares unable to remember anything. And every night I have to tell you the same story. And every night I have to see the life seep out of you, as I tell you he's dead. Over and over again. "

She sighed at the lack of response she was getting. Continuing to stare out of the window she said in a gentler voice.   
"You need help. We can't go on like this."

Pepper let go of Tony's hand and made her way to the door. 

"We'll figure something out in the morning." She hesitated   
" I'll be in the other room. Please try to get some sleep." 

It was only when he heard the soft click of the door that Tony allowed the tears to fall.


End file.
